Saturday, July 23, 2005
Mohammed P.
By Afshin Ellian (NRC 2005)
Some people are simply unlucky. They are born in the wrong country, and despite their burning desire to be authentic, they are rather narrow minded. Mohammed B. should actually be called Mohammed P. (of ‘pech’ [bad luck]). Mohammed wanted to enter paradise as a polder-mujahedeen. But an officer shot him in the leg and thus Mohammed appeared on crutches in the polder-court of Osdorp Amsterdam.
The unlucky namesake of the prophet must have asked himself the question: “Oh, Prophet Mohammed A. (ibn Abdollah) ! You are amongst those cute plump houris (the eternal virgins) while I have to be content with these prison guards. Why this injustice? We, the Muslim immigrants are always and everywhere being discriminated against.”
Despite the threats by people such as Mohammed B, has Ayaan Hirsi Ali been declared by Time magazine as one of the hundred most influential people in the world. Yes, Mohammed; you have immortalised Theo and Ayaan. The account in Time was written by the author Irshad Manji, and your name does not appear in it: “Her film incited a fanatic to kill Hirsi Ali’s co-producer, Theo van Gogh.” You, Mohammed, you are the anonymous; the killer amongst thousands of others in the world. While Ayaan and Theo are considered to be special people. Mohammed, I pity you. We live in a hard world.
You were and still are an anonymous young Muslim, there are after all a billion Muslims on this earth. And you’re neither a Khomeini or a Bin Laden. Not even a Sheik Yassin or Al-Zarqawi, because they have many more murders on their conscience. But I will try to cheer you up in these dark times. To that end I will take the time to translate a few lines from a Middle Eastern support movement.
Indeed, Mohammed, in the Pax Islamica there is no distinction between a Shiite and a Sunni. Your likeminded Shiite friends wrote on http://www.tardid.com/ about you, about Theo van Gogh, Hirsi Ali and Pim Fortuyn. The article was called ‘The holy anger of a young Muslim. A warning to Salman Rushdie.’
A Shiite Mohammed wrote the following about you:
“Aban 12 (2 November 2004) of this year was a day full of pride for Dutch Muslims. There was a filmmaker who openly insulted the Koran and damaged Muslim teachings. Though, after the death of the Great Khomeini there has been no spiritual leader who can match his courage.” After a description of the way in which the murder was carried out: bullets and knife. “After a fire fight with the police, while he was wounded, not far from the place where Allah’s judgement was carried out, he was arrested. In this way Mohammed Bouyeri, an anonymous brave young man who carried out Allah’s judgement, has made the holy anger of Muslims toward the insulters of Islam visible. This is comparable to what the shahid Mostafa Mazeh wanted to do to Rushdie years ago. Mazeh was in the hotel where Rushdie was staying, but before he could do anything, the dynamite belt exploded. The brave execution of Theo van Gogh has unfortunately not found resonance in the national media of Iran. Nor was the Iranian Ministry of Foreign Affairs willing to issue an appropriate response of support to this young brave anonymous Mohammed Bouyeri.”
The rest of the text looks a lot like the streams of consciousness of the folk storyteller Geert Mak. In his pamphlet ‘Condemned to Vulnerability’ he also claims that Submission is made with propagandistic, manipulative techniques to evoke many emotions. Of course, these people, the authors of the above website, do not know who Goebbels was, otherwise they would have related the film, as Mak does, to Goebbelsian methods.
Probably there are also imams, dear Mohammed, who have prayed for you. And you may of course count on the sympathy of the jihadists inside and outside of Iran. Nonetheless, you are still slightly confusing your audience. Are you really a jihadist or merely one of the many second-generation failures of immigrants? Note the points of doubt:
Your first performance in court about your family-honour and your younger brother. A kafar (unbelieving) prosecutor could never be honest and nuanced. What an effeminate pre-jihadist charade! Should not everyone, including your family, commit themselves to jihad? This is not about personal honour. The honour of Islam is at stake.
Shouldn’t you be reciting the whole of the Koran? It may take a few months. And if you are interrupted by the judge, you can immediately appeal because of the smug blasphemous attitude of the judge. This way you will appear on the Iranian news: who after all dares to interrupt the Koran?
The live broadcast of the trial. You are not ashamed of your act. Keep your chin up Mohammed!
Tell the judge which political-theological problems your Islam and that of Mohammed A. have with the Jews, and how the prophet Mohammed has solved these in Medina. Then the judge will understand that your hatred for Job Cohen [the mayor of Amsterdam] is in no way personal.
Explain to the judge why the Taghot (symbol of political evil)VVD [the center conservative party] and its leader Jozias van Aartsen must be eliminated.
And Submission? That short film does not at all cover the nature and range of your declaration of Jihad to the Dutch people. How should we tell this history to our children?
I do not mean to insult you, but if you cannot handle all of this, then you will look a lot like Volkert van der G. [who murdered politician Pim Fortuyn], who also failed to defend himself politically. In this case you should be humble. The rule of law is more merciful than the compassionate Allah carrying the Sharia in his pocket. You underestimate the difficulty of the political drama. Murdering is much easier than carrying out a jihadist act during a trial. I can hear your voice: we are doomed to bad luck and vulnerability.
Some people are simply unlucky. They are born in the wrong country, and despite their burning desire to be authentic, they are rather narrow minded. Mohammed B. should actually be called Mohammed P. (of ‘pech’ [bad luck]). Mohammed wanted to enter paradise as a polder-mujahedeen. But an officer shot him in the leg and thus Mohammed appeared on crutches in the polder-court of Osdorp Amsterdam.
The unlucky namesake of the prophet must have asked himself the question: “Oh, Prophet Mohammed A. (ibn Abdollah) ! You are amongst those cute plump houris (the eternal virgins) while I have to be content with these prison guards. Why this injustice? We, the Muslim immigrants are always and everywhere being discriminated against.”
Despite the threats by people such as Mohammed B, has Ayaan Hirsi Ali been declared by Time magazine as one of the hundred most influential people in the world. Yes, Mohammed; you have immortalised Theo and Ayaan. The account in Time was written by the author Irshad Manji, and your name does not appear in it: “Her film incited a fanatic to kill Hirsi Ali’s co-producer, Theo van Gogh.” You, Mohammed, you are the anonymous; the killer amongst thousands of others in the world. While Ayaan and Theo are considered to be special people. Mohammed, I pity you. We live in a hard world.
You were and still are an anonymous young Muslim, there are after all a billion Muslims on this earth. And you’re neither a Khomeini or a Bin Laden. Not even a Sheik Yassin or Al-Zarqawi, because they have many more murders on their conscience. But I will try to cheer you up in these dark times. To that end I will take the time to translate a few lines from a Middle Eastern support movement.
Indeed, Mohammed, in the Pax Islamica there is no distinction between a Shiite and a Sunni. Your likeminded Shiite friends wrote on http://www.tardid.com/ about you, about Theo van Gogh, Hirsi Ali and Pim Fortuyn. The article was called ‘The holy anger of a young Muslim. A warning to Salman Rushdie.’
A Shiite Mohammed wrote the following about you:
“Aban 12 (2 November 2004) of this year was a day full of pride for Dutch Muslims. There was a filmmaker who openly insulted the Koran and damaged Muslim teachings. Though, after the death of the Great Khomeini there has been no spiritual leader who can match his courage.” After a description of the way in which the murder was carried out: bullets and knife. “After a fire fight with the police, while he was wounded, not far from the place where Allah’s judgement was carried out, he was arrested. In this way Mohammed Bouyeri, an anonymous brave young man who carried out Allah’s judgement, has made the holy anger of Muslims toward the insulters of Islam visible. This is comparable to what the shahid Mostafa Mazeh wanted to do to Rushdie years ago. Mazeh was in the hotel where Rushdie was staying, but before he could do anything, the dynamite belt exploded. The brave execution of Theo van Gogh has unfortunately not found resonance in the national media of Iran. Nor was the Iranian Ministry of Foreign Affairs willing to issue an appropriate response of support to this young brave anonymous Mohammed Bouyeri.”
The rest of the text looks a lot like the streams of consciousness of the folk storyteller Geert Mak. In his pamphlet ‘Condemned to Vulnerability’ he also claims that Submission is made with propagandistic, manipulative techniques to evoke many emotions. Of course, these people, the authors of the above website, do not know who Goebbels was, otherwise they would have related the film, as Mak does, to Goebbelsian methods.
Probably there are also imams, dear Mohammed, who have prayed for you. And you may of course count on the sympathy of the jihadists inside and outside of Iran. Nonetheless, you are still slightly confusing your audience. Are you really a jihadist or merely one of the many second-generation failures of immigrants? Note the points of doubt:
Your first performance in court about your family-honour and your younger brother. A kafar (unbelieving) prosecutor could never be honest and nuanced. What an effeminate pre-jihadist charade! Should not everyone, including your family, commit themselves to jihad? This is not about personal honour. The honour of Islam is at stake.
Shouldn’t you be reciting the whole of the Koran? It may take a few months. And if you are interrupted by the judge, you can immediately appeal because of the smug blasphemous attitude of the judge. This way you will appear on the Iranian news: who after all dares to interrupt the Koran?
The live broadcast of the trial. You are not ashamed of your act. Keep your chin up Mohammed!
Tell the judge which political-theological problems your Islam and that of Mohammed A. have with the Jews, and how the prophet Mohammed has solved these in Medina. Then the judge will understand that your hatred for Job Cohen [the mayor of Amsterdam] is in no way personal.
Explain to the judge why the Taghot (symbol of political evil)VVD [the center conservative party] and its leader Jozias van Aartsen must be eliminated.
And Submission? That short film does not at all cover the nature and range of your declaration of Jihad to the Dutch people. How should we tell this history to our children?
I do not mean to insult you, but if you cannot handle all of this, then you will look a lot like Volkert van der G. [who murdered politician Pim Fortuyn], who also failed to defend himself politically. In this case you should be humble. The rule of law is more merciful than the compassionate Allah carrying the Sharia in his pocket. You underestimate the difficulty of the political drama. Murdering is much easier than carrying out a jihadist act during a trial. I can hear your voice: we are doomed to bad luck and vulnerability.
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